PLANNING FOR MARRIAGE
Successful marriages begin with a proper foundation laid much earlier, first in careful preparation of each individual and then matching of the man and woman whom God has appointed for one another.
Couples entering into marriage unprepared and for wrong motives are doomed at best to endless frustration, and more often than not to total failure. On the other hand, faithful and committed Christian men and women, who have allowed the Holy Spirit to mould them and lead them along the biblical path, look forward with confidence to a married life of fulfilment and mutual delight.
Pre-Marriage Attitudes
Before entering marriage, it’s important to prepare your heart and mindset. As Derek Prince shares in his book God Is a Matchmaker, there are four key attitudes every individual should develop:
A Positive Attitude Toward Marriage
See marriage as a meaningful, lifelong commitment not just a social expectation.
A Positive Attitude Toward Yourself
Know your value and identity. You cannot love someone else well if you do not love yourself.
A Positive Attitude Toward Other People
Cultivate respect, empathy, and kindness in your interactions with others.
A Positive Attitude Toward Your Parents
Honouring and understanding your parents helps you build emotional maturity and healthy boundaries.
Committed Love
Committed love in marriage should not lead to regret, even when challenges arise. True commitment is about choosing each other daily, through both the highs and the lows.
There is no greater discovery in marriage than realizing that God has brought you together not just for companionship, but for the ministry of:
Helping each other grow,
Understanding each other’s uniqueness, and
Recognizing each other’s value in God’s eyes.
This kind of love must be:
Demonstrated consistently,
Seen through actions, and
Expressed with words hroughout the entire marriage journey.
Let your love be a daily reflection of God’s grace and faithfulness.
Marriage Preparation
Before marriage, each partner brings a suitcase full of expectations. Many couples assume things will unfold exactly as they imagine often influenced by personal dreams or media portrayals. Selwyn Hughes, in his book Marriage as God Intended, quotes renowned marriage expert David Mace: “Why do many marriages run into trouble? It is because people don’t get the help they need about marriage either before they begin or after they get married.”
Preparation Requires Wisdom
Young couples preparing for marriage should resist the urge to seek advice from peers who may lack real-life experience. Instead, it is a sign of wisdom and humility to:
Seek premarital counselling,
Learn from older, spiritually grounded couples,
Follow examples of healthy marriages within the church and society.
Doing so provides a solid foundation for aligning with God’s plan for marriage a plan rooted in love, understanding, and commitment.
